While scrolling my twitter feed early this morning the following tweet caught my eye. Stopped me cold, actually.
I am so tired of waiting,
For the world to become good
And beautiful and kind?
— Langston Hughes (@langston_poems) February 1, 2018
And I struggled with the feelings that followed and a dense knot that formed in my belly. I’m not certain I‘m the intended audience for Hughes poem, but I felt it viscerally nonetheless.
I’m tired. I really, really am. And if I were the betting kind I’d wager that you’re tired too. Everyone is tired and it should be no surprise to any of us because this world is exhausting. Even in the best of times just getting through the work we need to do to keep our lives running in a way that remotely resembles smoothly is some kind of magical feat. And most days I feel more like Ron Weasley spastically waving his wand to no avail than Hermione — skillfully, if amateurly — levitating her feather.
And those are my good days. Bad days become an entirely different kind of beast. Bad days mix the to-do lists full of work meetings, deadlines, homework battles, and everyday chores with heart-wrenching news stories, trending topics, and an unrelenting sense of defeat. And honestly, I’m over it.
I’m over being tired of life. I’m over busting my hump and never being able to enjoy living. I’m over waiting for that mythical day when everything is supposed to sort itself out. In fact, I call BS on the whole thing. I get it. Life is hard, and I’m cool with that. But life can be hard and still good and beautiful and kind and I’m tired of waiting for a slice of that pie. So I’m done with the waiting.
I’m over waiting for the world to become what we have the power to make it. We are the world. It’s cliche — and a 1985 classic, but it’s also true. And if we want this world, our world, to truly be good, beautiful, and kind it’s up to us to make it that way. And that’s what I plan to do. I’ll plant food and cultivate flowers. I’ll donate my time and money to those already fighting the good fight(s), and I’ll continue to reduce, reuse, and recycle obsessively. I will vote and become more active in my community. I’ll make connections, and build relationships, with people based on respect and admiration — without regard to ethnicity, religion, gender, or sexuality. And I will use the privileges I enjoy to do everything I can to help make this world good, beautiful, and kind for all who inhabit it — and for Mother Earth too.
I’ll still be tired but I think the payout will be worth it. Because I’m over it, and I’m done waiting.
How about you?
Robyn McNeil is a Nova Scotia-based freelance writer, bartender, and editor of the Whole Family Happiness Project. She lives in Halifax, with her son and a penchant for really strong tea, yoga, hammocks, and hoppy beer.
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